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Marriage & Wedding Guide |
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How to Enhance and Enrich Your Marriage
Any marriage counselor will tell you that one of the most common problems observed when couples come for help is poor communication skills. People get into trouble in their marriages because they have not developed their ability to listen and communicate. Barriers to CommunicationThese are a few of the things that prevent people from communicating effectively:
People marry because they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner. They have every hope of growing together and creating a relationship that makes them feel emotionally healthy. Two factors that are necessary for this to happen are empathy and acceptance on the part of both partners. Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another's shoes and understand how they view their reality, how they feel about things. Demonstrating empathy and acceptance is critical to maintaining a strong relationship. Let's look next at some communication skills that enable you to create a climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding. First we will explore a skill called Active Listening. Active ListeningActive listening is a way of communicating that creates the important climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding. It is a two-step response to a statement made by your partner. It includes reflecting back what emotion you detected in the statement, and the reason for the emotion. This is what active listening sounds like: "Sounds like you're upset about what happened at work." "You're very annoyed by my lateness, aren't you?" Why Active Listening Is a Valuable SkillActive listening is a valuable skill because it demonstrates that you understand what your partner is saying and how he or she is feeling about it.
Restating and checking understanding promotes better communication and fewer misunderstandings. More Active Listening ExamplesHere are some more examples of active listening:
More Communication SkillsAlthough our space is limited in this short newsletter, there are a few more communication skills that I must mention. These include asking open-ended questions, making summary statements to check understanding, and encouraging your partner to open up and elaborate by using neutral questions and phrases. Open-ended questions begin with what, why, how do, or tell me.
Summary StatementsSummary statements sum up what you hear your partner saying.
Neutral Questions and PhrasesNeutral questions and phrases get your partner to open up and elaborate on the topic you are discussing.
Business Skills for MarriagesYou might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully-planning, organizing, and setting goals-also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
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